For many years while our children were growing up, my husband would say our children are going to be arrows, not boomerangs (based on Psalm 127:4). In other words, when they leave home they will be shot out with our blessing like an arrow, and will not be returning back home later like a boomerang.
Now that we have finished raising all five of our children, we discovered that wasn’t the case. We also discovered there seems to be a stigma, especially among Christian parents, that if we allow our adult children to live with us, we are enabling them. We are told they need to learn responsibility, be independent, and we need to send them out to fend for themselves.
That may be true in some cases, but not all. Yes, there are some adult children who will remain at home and live off of their parents because they are lazy, and as long as the parents will allow them to continue, they will do so.
But many of these adult children are not lazy. Some of them need to live at home to cut down the ridiculous expense of living on a college campus. It is obvious that we live in a time where it is difficult to make ends meet with only one income. Those who are not in college struggle with day-to-day living expenses: paying rent, owning a vehicle, the required insurance on the vehicle, replacing socks and worn out jeans, mandated health care costs, along with the “need” for things like a smart phone in today’s world. These are expenses that can easily go beyond an entry level job.
Yes, I know our generation did not need cell phones, and in some places there is public transportation available. But our offspring are not living in the same world we grew up in. And some of the things we, as the older generation, can view as wants, can rightfully be considered needs in today’s world of technology and communication, such as a portable computer of some 
kind. (I know there will be some of you who do not agree with this, and that’s okay.)
It has been a delicate balance of walking this fine line with our adult children, as I am sure it has been with many of you as well.
And it complicates things when your adult children have their own children. This is becoming a much more common issue all the time, also. When a grandchild is involved, the impact on that child’s life has to be considered as well.
Imagine my surprise, when a few years ago I learned this generation of adult children is actually called the “boomerang generation,” and are beginning to be studied and get media attention. (Too bad Dave couldn’t get credit for naming them, since I have been hearing him 
say this for at least 20 years.)
We can look at this situation through two different lenses. We have to deal with our adult children living at home, or we get to deal with our adult children living at home. I will admit, I have gone back and forth between these two views for several years now, as I live it out.
When Dave and I got married, I already had a daughter. We have now been married for well over 30 years, and we still have yet to have a time in our marriage where only Dave and I live in our home. I will admit, this has taken its toll on me at times, as I feel like I just want everyone out.
During one of those “seasons,” I told God I needed something to hold onto, while waiting for that time to come. He reminded me how we each have angels assigned to watch over us. That means the more people I have living in my home, the more angels I have surrounding us in the spiritual atmosphere. This was actually a pretty awesome thought, and I thanked the Lord for bringing it to my attention.
In many other cultures, families don’t move away from each other like they do in the Western and European countries. Here in America, we pride ourselves in independence, but I am not convinced that is a good thing, especially when it distorts how God set up families to function, to depend on each other. “God sets the lonely in families…” Psalm 68:6. We need each other.
God is a generational God. That fact can be found throughout scripture. He takes the relationship between the generations very seriously. He also expects there to be spiritual interaction and mentoring between the generations. Psalm 78:4,6, and 8 says, “We will not hide them from their descendants; we will tell the next generation the praiseworthy deeds of the Lord, his power, and the wonders he has done… so the next generation would know them, even the children yet to be born, and they in turn would tell their children. Then they would put their trust in God and would not forget his deeds but would keep his commands.”
Do you realize that when Joshua went to take the people in to claim the land God promised them, they had to stop and circumcise all of the males? That is very shocking! It means all those years wandering in the wilderness, the parents were not making sure their children were in covenant with God. God took that very seriously. (And it was not the fault of the children; it was the parents who failed to take seriously the destiny of their children.)
If you have found yourself in the same position as me, with boomerang children in your home, I am not going to try to tell you there is a need to pray and reevaluate whether or not they really should be living in your home. I’m going to assume that is something you have already done, and the answer is yes.
What I will do, is encourage you to do the same things I did. First, see this as an opportunity to continue being an influence (as a sideline cheerleader, not trying to discipline them when that time of life has come to an end). And second, ask God to show you the benefits and the blessings of your adult children living in your home.
If we have adult children living under our roof, let’s make sure we have God’s perspective, and see them as the gift they are. We are truly blessed to be part of God’s generational blessing in our home.
