I do not want God to be working against me! And yet I am amazed at how often I forget this and allow a specific sin, which causes this very thing, to dominate either a situation I find myself in, or a brief moment that flashes past me.

What is it that causes God to oppose me? James 4:6 tells us “God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” This is extremely serious, and even scary!

We are told to walk humbly with our God (Micah 6:8). And yet humility is something that is so very hard to learn. I have said for years there will never be a book titled “How I Became Humble.” (And if there is, it probably isn’t worth reading!) So how can we learn to shed our pride and walk in true humility?

This subject may seem to be contradicting the blog I wrote recently, Yes, It IS About Me. But actually, that blog was dealing with pride as well – in the area of false humility, which has its root in pride. Our false humility happens because we are so wrapped up in spiritual pride that we parrot how “it’s all about God”, and absolutely “nothing is about me”, missing the point that if absolutely nothing is about me, then God would have no interest in me or have a plan for my life.

Before I jump fully into this subject, let me say I am definitely not even close to an “expert” in this area. The Holy Spirit seems to be constantly revealing my heart to me, showing me areas I still yield to this ugly fruit of my flesh as the motivation behind my actions.

Conquering the Game of Control by Craig Green is a book I read a few years ago that was a huge eye opener in this area. For me, it was one of those rare life changing books, which I highly recommend. I can’t even begin to share the many ways it affected me, but one of the main things it did was to give me a revelation of how ugly the sin of pride is, and how scary it is to have it activated in my life. Satan is at the root of all pride, and when I walk in this sin, it is activating the work of the enemy in me and through me to others. I realized I want nothing to do with being this channel of evil to those around me.

But saying and desiring that, and actually living it out on a daily basis, are two different things. We can all relate to Paul in Romans 7:14-16. “… I’m full of myself—after all, I’ve spent a long time in sin’s prison. What I don’t understand about myself is that I decide one way, but then I act another, doing things I absolutely despise. So if I can’t be trusted to figure out what is best for myself and then do it, it becomes obvious that God’s command is necessary.” (MSG).

I have come to realize that every sin has its root in pride. Think about any sin, and keep tracing back the motive behind it, and eventually you will come to the sin of pride. It is about ourselves, and what “I” want, about how “I” feel, about how “I” know better than someone else (including God) on how something should be done or not done, etc. It is the original sin, both with Satan and mankind through Eve, so it makes sense that it is the root of all sin.

So how do we uproot pride in our lives? The key is found in James 4:10. “Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up in honor.” (NLT).

Have you ever noticed humility is not one of the fruits of the Holy Spirit? According to James, it is something we have to choose to do to ourselves…hmm…interesting.

It is important to make a distinction between humility and humiliation. The first one is what I do myself, and the second one is what is done to me because of the issue of pride in my life. “Pride precedes destruction; an arrogant spirit gives way to a nasty fall.” (Proverbs 16:18 VOICE)

When we walk in pride, we open the door for humiliation. But when we humble ourselves in our very spirit and soul, we begin to walk in a way that allows God to honor us. This is totally mind-boggling and amazing!

Walking in humility is learning how to allow God’s Spirit living inside of me to be in charge, making sure my soul and my body (my own thoughts, will, emotions, and desires) are lined up under my spirit. It is living a spiritually balanced life. And it is done by living a life of submission, dying to my own wants and desires, and coming alive to His wants and desires for me (which I think we can all agree, is always better.)

Our church is in a twenty day consecration period of prayer and fasting. I would like to share with you what was written for day seventeen, as a great example of someone who was honored as he humbled himself before Jesus.

And when they had come to the multitude, a man came to Him, kneeling down to Him and saying, “Lord, have mercy on my son, for he is an epileptic and suffers severely; for he falls into the fire and often into the water. So I brought him to Your disciples, but they could not cure him.” – Matthew 17:14-16

What a great example of humility: this man approached Jesus and knelt before Him in the midst of a crowd. As the father approached, he believed that Jesus would bring his son relief. But even in his belief, his approach was humble and submitted to what Christ would choose to do.

Looking further into the story, we find the father was also persistent and resisted taking offense. Though the disciples were not able to help him, he set aside his temporary disappointment in their failure and continued to seek after Jesus – the solution to his circumstance, the source of relief through his trial.

Being humble before God is realizing our need of Him, submitting to His will, pursuing Him, and being confident the outcome will occur in God’s perfect timing.

Be encouraged that approaching God with a heart of humility will always position you to find relief in Jesus. Don’t be ashamed to humble yourself before God, even in the presence of others. Though offenses and disappointments may come, continue in your pursuit of Jesus. You may not get relief right away, but know this: God is never late and His solution is always perfect!

Another great example in the Bible of someone God honored, because of humbling himself, is Daniel. In Daniel 10:12 we read the words of an angel who appeared to him. “Do not be afraid, Daniel. Since the first day that you set your mind to gain understanding and to humble yourself before your God, your words were heard, and I have come in response to them.” (NIV)

All through the scriptures, we see that whenever a person or a nation made the choice to humble themselves before God, God honored them and moved on their behalf. This is another great reason to learn how to humble ourselves.

It is all based on what is in our heart. And I am ashamed to admit it, but way too often I am good at faking it, looking all humble on the outside, but having prideful and arrogant thoughts on the inside. And that is where it counts…on the inside where God sees…and I don’t think I am the only one.

Holy Spirit, help us. We know we need to humble ourselves, but we need You to give us the desire, and to point out to us our prideful actions and thoughts, so we can crucify and die to our ugly pride, and humble ourselves so that we live in a greater measure of Your grace (Your Divine power, and enablement). In the wonderful and mighty name of Jesus, Amen.

 

Gems from the Crown is a weekly blog to strengthen and encourage believers in Christ in their walk with God. If you would like to receive Gems from the Crown delivered directly to you, please click here.

As Christians, we hear quite often, “It’s not about you. It’s all about Him.” We even lift our hands as we sing worship songs that indicate this. I may be stirring up a Christian bee’s nest, but I don’t fully believe that. Let me tell you why.

 

God refers to us as the following:

• We are His children (and He is our Abba, Father)
• We are His sheep
• We are His friends
• We are the Bride of His Son

If it is all about Him, and not about us,

• Why did Jesus tell us He was leaving so the Holy Spirit could come and live inside each one of us?
• Why did God make a covenant with us, putting Himself on both sides of it so that we can’t get out of it?
• Why didn’t God just leave us in sin after Adam and Eve disobeyed Him?
• Why did Jesus say He came to seek and save those who were lost?
• Why does God encourage us through Paul to run the race and finish well?
• Why did Jesus say He was going to prepare a place for us to live with Him forever?
• Why are we told what signs to look for to let us know Jesus’ return is getting close?
• Why bother sending the Holy Spirit at all, to lead and guide us into all truth?

Why? Because God is a personal God, who wants a personal, intimate relationship with each one of us.

In God’s eyes, life here on earth is about you, and it is about me!

Yes, we walk by faith, and not by sight. Yes, we are not to live our lives based on feelings. But the ability to have feelings and emotions came from God. When you hear someone say, “It’s not about you. It’s about Him,” how does that make you feel? Do you feel closer to God? Probably not.

When a daughter wants her daddy’s attention, how would she feel if he tells her, “It doesn’t matter what you want. It isn’t about you; it’s about me and what I want. Leave me alone!”?

If a person contacts his or her best friend to ask them to hang out, is it normal for that friend to say, “It doesn’t matter what you want. It’s not about you and what you want to do.”?

Would a groom tell his new wife on their honeymoon, “This marriage isn’t about you. It’s all about me and what I want out of it!”?

Of course not!

Then why do we think our relationship with God is all about Him and none of it is about us?

If it’s not about you, who did Jesus come to die for? Why did God give us the written Word to teach us how to live in a way that brings us His blessings? Why do we seek Him to find out what gifts He has placed in us and what He created us to do and be while living on this earth?

God wants us to come to him with our fears, our anxieties, our burdens, our sicknesses, our loneliness, and any other negative thoughts and feelings we have, so that He can exchange them for His peace, joy, health, mercy, compassion, and unconditional extravagant love!

Now that I think about it, that actually sounds like a pretty one-sided relationship. This exchange makes it sound like it is almost all about you and me!

But it isn’t just about you or me. And it isn’t just about Him. It is all about the relationship. It is all about “we” and “us.”

This understanding is not something that inflates our ego and makes us strut with pride. Instead, it is something very humbling, which causes us to want to love Him deeply in return, to worship Him and live our lives for Him.

And so, we discover it is all about being caught up in a circle of love. The more we receive His love, the more we want to return it, which opens the door for us to receive even more from Him, which causes us to be even more in love with Him, and on it goes.

Yes, it IS about me, and you, AND God. Aren’t you thankful for that?

 

I recently had the need to “run away.” I had a lot on my plate and also had some things that were weighing heavily on my heart. The busyness of day-to-day life compounded things, until I found myself completely overwhelmed.

We couldn’t afford for me to go stay at a hotel to get away for a few days. As I asked God to show me how to get some time away, which I so desperately needed, I realized my mom was heading to Ohio to visit my sister, leaving her place unoccupied for a week. So I packed my things and went to stay there for several days of quietness, prayer, reading, writing, reflection…you get the idea.

Every morning, I would go out for a long walk around the mobile home subdivision she lives in. The last morning as I was walking, someone drove past me with a huge smile and a big wave, and I smiled and waved back. My thought was, “You have no clue who I am, so why are you so excited to see me?”

I realized it was because the driver probably believed that if I was out walking in this subdivision, I lived there. She had the unconscious thought, “You must be one of us, you are part of our community” and therefore offered the joyful greeting from her car.

I had a Mini Cooper for five years. (Yes, sweet!) I loved that car! As the owner of a Mini, whenever you pass someone else driving a Mini, you wave at them. It’s a big deal to be the owner of such a car, and a community is built around it. Dave and I did several Mini Cooper rallies, where we would meet up with dozens or even hundreds of other Mini owners, and all drive somewhere together. At one of these rallies we even got to drive on the Indy 500 track!

It’s the same thing with Harley Davidson. One of my sons is a Harley technician, and in the summer once a month they have a rally, where hundreds of Harley owners come from all around to hang out together. If you own a Harley, you are automatically part of their community.

I looked up the word community, and here is one of the definitions: a feeling of fellowship with others, as a result of sharing common attitudes, interests, and goals (Oxford Dictionaries).

Community gives us a sense of belonging. We all have a need, a craving, to know we belong somewhere.

The Body of Christ should be our greatest sense of community. It should be a place where we feel in fellowship with others, as a result of the commonality of our relationship and love for Jesus.

But do we? Unfortunately, many people do not. They have the commonality, but not the fellowship of community.

Why is that? Could it be that we have unwittingly reverted back to the way of the Pharisees that Jesus called hypocrites? Are we so busy being the Holy Spirit to those around us who profess Jesus as their Savior, making sure they do and don’t do what He has convicted us of, that it is a bunch of rules and regulations, instead of relationship?

The other day, I was talking to someone in my parents’ generation who began to share with me her frustration at the lack of young people in her church. I told her that I think it is because we have tried to teach our kids about the rules of religion, instead of the gift of relationship. Rules without relationship breeds rebellion.

When someone first comes to know Jesus in a real way, telling God they want to live for Him instead of themselves and inviting Him into their lives, we are all happy and excited for them (as we should be)! But then we immediately start telling them what they should and should not do, to be able to remain as part of our church community, under the label of being a Christian. If they don’t follow our rules fast enough, they start feeling uncomfortable, and end up leaving.

I am not talking about things in the Bible God outright calls sin and wants us to come away from to avoid our own destruction. I am talking about things like not wearing flip-flops to church. Yes, I actually had a conversation with someone on this very subject. Her argument was that a person would not wear something as casual as flip-flops to visit a dignitary, and since God is so much greater, He should be honored in the same way. Therefore, we need to dress up (which includes no flip-flops) for church.

Things like abstaining from all alcohol (which my husband and I do, not because we think it is a sin, but it is just our personal choice) or getting certain body piercings or a tattoo are other common areas of “how can you call yourself a Christian and do that?” type of subjects. We even had a friend many years ago who had this attitude about home schooling, laying a guilt trip on any Christian who sent their children to government (public) schools!

Here’s a thought. How about if we focus on relationships instead of rules? Yes, I know there is a need for accountability, teaching, instruction, and correction. But the black-and-white (and red lettering) Word of God is the measuring stick for that. Our own convictions in areas that do not make or break a person’s relationship with God should not become unwritten rules of the community of the Body of Christ, causing broken fellowship and division.

Many years ago, my husband and I were members of our local curling club (a sport played on ice). I felt like I had better fellowship and sense of community and belonging there in the clubhouse (drinking my soda) than I did in my church at times. I was accepted and welcomed just the way I was. No one was trying to conform me into their own image of who they thought I should be as a curler, like I felt was happening to me in the church as a Christian. How sad is that? Fortunately, I was strong enough to recognize how dangerous the pull of that was, so it did not cause me to give up on being part of the Church.

But many people don’t have that insight, and decide that the acceptance of community in the world is so much better than the acceptance of community (or lack of it) in the church. That is not what Christ intended, and I am sure it grieves Him greatly.

Everyone needs to belong to a group who will accept them the way they are. I cannot change a person’s heart. I cannot change a person’s motive. I cannot change a person’s convictions. Only the Holy Spirit can do that, and He does it quite well. As a matter of fact, that is His specialty.

What I can do is love someone into the Kingdom, and then continue to love them the way they are, while the Holy Spirit does the internal work. It does no good to get someone to conform on the outside, with no change on the inside.

People should not have to go outside the church and into the world to have that craving of belonging to a community to be filled. Let’s be determined to make sure our churches are a true place of community, where people know they are wanted and belong, for the simple fact that we are all “living in the same subdivision”. We are all in relationship with God through the covenant blood of Jesus Christ. That is what makes us part of His community; plain and simple.

There are several studies and books that talk about personality types.  One book refers to them as four different animals.  Based on that book, I am a playful otter, and my husband is a loyal golden retriever.  We had to laugh when we realized that must be one reason our marriage works so well; I like to have fun, and he likes to watch me have fun!

We both also have different giftings and strengths.  God gave me the giftings of a leader and teacher, with an anointing to teach children.  Dave has totally different giftings and callings, such as the gift to analyze situations and he has wisdom with finances.  (I, on the other hand, am not very good at either of those things.)

I don’t want to push him out of the way so I can do the things he is good at and does well, nor does he want to push me out of the way to do the things I am good at and do well.

I am thinking of one area in particular where these differences could definitely be seen as we raised our kids.  I almost always led our nightly family devotions when our children were young. I used to get very frustrated that Dave wouldn’t step in and take over. I saw it as a weakness in him, and I’d get upset (but I wouldn’t tell him about my frustration, I would just stew about it.)

Years later, after our children were grown, we had a discussion about it.  After all those years, I finally realized he was allowing me to use my giftings in our home with our own children. He wasn’t being a husband pushing his wife out of the way just to be the “man of the house” based on what others thought a husband and father should do.

There are those who will say that means I was “wearing the pants in the family” and Dave was not being the head of the home.  But that wasn’t the case.  Our marriage has always been one of co-submission, and I have always allowed him to have the final word on decisions made in our home. (See my previous blog What I Have Learned About Submission After 31 Years of Marriage.)

How about you? Are there areas in your life you are weak in, where you pull others forward to take your place?  Or do you insist on doing it yourself, while someone who could do it so much easier and better is forced to watch on the sidelines?

Don’t let what others might think of you keep you from being effective in what God has called you to do.

God’s plans for us are not “man-sized” plans; they are “God-sized” plans.  That means you are going to need others to help you.

Insisting on doing something myself when there is someone in my life who can do it for me, and do it better than me, is called pride.

James 4:6 tells us “God resists the proud” (NKJV).  Some translations say God opposes the proud.  It goes on to say that He gives grace to the humble.

So I can either walk in pride, insisting on doing something that is not my area of gifting, and have God resist or oppose me,

OR

I can humble myself, allowing someone else to be used in their gifting, and have God’s grace be a part of whatever it is I am doing.

So we get to choose whether we want God’s resistance or God’s grace. It seems a bit obvious when we look at it from God’s perspective, doesn’t it?

Is there a time when you stepped aside and let someone else’s gifting shine, and you saw God’s grace come in a sweet or powerful way?  I would love to hear about it in the comment section below.