What determines God’s goodness? Is He good because He answers my prayers the way I want Him to? Is that what makes a person good? Because they give us what we want to make us happy? Or are they good because they know how to make right decisions for everyone involved? Are they good because they are not willing to compromise in the moment, but hold fast because they see and know the greater good further down the road?
I find it very sad when people walk away from God because He didn’t give them the answer they wanted to a prayer. God is not a vending machine where we put in the prayer, push a button, and the solution we want drops out for us.
As Christians, we often don’t realize how we treat God like a genie in a lamp. If we claim the right scriptures, say the right things, do some fasting and have enough faith (how much is “enough”?) then we will have our prayers answered. We treat it like rubbing the lamp, having God pop out and say, “Your wish is my command!”
If we have made Jesus Lord of our lives, it overrides everything. It gives Him permission to be God in our lives, no matter what that looks like and includes when we don’t understand what He is doing or allowing in our lives.
I am not discounting speaking God’s Word over our lives and those we love, and pressing into Him through prayer. Not at all. But that is not a golden ticket to get what we want from Him and to never have the trial and tribulations He tells us we will have in our lives.
We have a young granddaughter who is being taught to say please and is learning that just because she says “pleeeeease” doesn’t mean she automatically gets what she wants.
When you ask someone for something, they 
have a choice to say yes or no. When we ask God for something, He has the choice to say yes or no. Did I want Him to say yes and allow Becca to stay here on this earth? Of course I did, with every fiber of my being! As a matter of fact, I believed He was actually going to heal her heart, either through a miracle or through a heart transplant. I was totally blindsided when she died—even though she was very sick.
But I have chosen not to change my thoughts and beliefs on who God is just because I did not get a prayer answered the way I wanted Him to, no matter how painful it may be and the deep suffocating darkness it threw me into.
And that is what trust is; to believe in someone when what I see or feel doesn’t make sense at the moment, no matter how much it hurts or how wrong I think it is.
Your emotions may be telling you that you cannot trust God and that He isn’t 
good. However, decisions made based on emotions are quite often wrong. I encourage you to make the difficult choice to trust Him, not based on whether or not you get what you want, but based on the fact that if you cannot see His goodness in your situation yet, it means He isn’t done working on your behalf.
We all have choices to make about trusting God. We ask our children many times to trust us, especially when our decisions cause them pain (and we know what they don’t know, and can see what they cannot see). God is asking the same thing.
A greater measure of healing will begin to happen when we decide that we are going to believe in His goodness and trust Him with our lives once again.
The choice is mine and yours. And the 
question becomes: Are you going to make it based on anger, resentment or frustration? Or are you going to move beyond that, believing He knows how to make right decisions for everyone involved, and that He was not willing to compromise in the moment, but held fast because He sees what we cannot see, and knows what we do not know?
I hope you will join me in believing in what He promises, that even if it doesn’t happen here on this earth, we will see the fullness of His goodness when we are with Him and our children once again.
Laura has put together a coloring book and journal with 42 words that have to do with our grief journey as parents who have lost a child. If you would like to have the pages on the word ANGER (which includes a thoughtful reflection on this word as well as a helpful scripture) let us know below. (To find out more about My Grief Journey: Coloring Book and Journal for Grieving Parents click here.)
Expressions of Hope is written by author and speaker Laura Diehl to bring hope, light and life to those struggling in darkness after a tragedy, especially bereaved parents. If you would like more information about Laura as an author or a speaker for your next event, click here.
always be with us. Even if I’m not emotionally feeling the pain at the moment, it is still there. It’s almost like a physical chronic pain. There are times you are so used to having the pain that you don’t even realize you’re feeling it.
under the swirling waters, call out “Lord, save me!” just like Peter did in Matthew 14. Whenever I did that, somehow Jesus always reached through the storm and pulled me up out of the drowning sea of emotions, into His secure arms, where I would feel like He was holding me. He knew how weak and helpless I was, and He never tired of meeting me in my place of need.
I have now learned that peace and pain can both reside in us at the same time. Whether I am consciously feeling the pain or not, an underlying peace seems to travel side-by-side with my pain. It is definitely the peace of God that goes beyond any understanding, and I am so thankful that He offers it to us and gives it freely.
darkness. And don’t feel guilty about taking as much time as you need to be intimate with the One who loves you like crazy and wants to get you out of the suffocating pit and onto the path of living again. Spend intimate time with Him. Lots of it.
God or away from Him. But when we move away from Him, we are moving away from the One who can help us the most. God wants to walk with us through this valley of death. He wants to give us comfort. He wants to give us strength. He wants to give us hope. These are all things we desperately need. But if we choose to move away from Him, we will continue to desperately need these things. This is a time to get as close to God as you possibly can.
This option has brought me to a place of peace, rest, hope, and life again—even within the pain.
at some point. And as painful as it is, some of us will have children who leave this earth ahead of us. The question is, how are we going to choose to live the rest of our lives when they are gone and there is nothing we can do to bring them back? Am I going to live in a way that reminds everyone my child died, or that my child lived?
But I was also determined to hang on to God with anything and everything I possibly could, no matter what. And quite often, that was not holding on to Him at all, but letting Him hold on to me as I just cried and sobbed. And I am talking not just weeks, but months and on into the second and third year after her death.
God was not blindsided by Becca’s death. He didn’t reach His limits when she left this earth, and was suddenly unable to bring light into darkness, no matter how deep and black that darkness is.
now is nothing compared to the glory He will reveal to us later. For all creation is waiting eagerly for that future day when God will reveal who his children really are. Against its will, all creation was subjected to God’s curse. But with eager hope, the creation looks forward to the day when it will join God’s children in glorious freedom from death and decay. For we know that all creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. And we believers also groan, even though we have the Holy Spirit within us as a foretaste of future glory, for we long for our bodies to be released from sin and suffering. We, too, wait with eager hope for the day when God will give us our full rights as his adopted children, including the new bodies he has promised us. We were given this hope when we were saved. (If we already have something, we don’t need to hope for it. But if we look forward to something we don’t yet have, we must wait patiently and confidently.)” (NLT)
not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed” (NIV). The song goes on to say how we are blessed beyond the curse because His promises will endure; that His joy is going to be my strength. It talks about trading our sorrows, our sickness, and our pain for the joy of the Lord.” 
done here. I am not discounting or minimizing that at all.
