We live in a fallen sinful world, and often get caught in the fall-out of that fact, while living here on this earth.

There are times something hits us, and it is fairly easy to give it over to God and let Him take care of it. Other times, we get hit hard, and the wounds run deep. It can cause us to question the goodness of God and be outright angry at Him for allowing something horrible to happen. After all, He is God, and we know He could have stopped it from happening.

Being a Christian does not give us a “golden ticket” immune to tragedy and heartache in our lives. Yes, Jesus told us to pray “Your will be done here on earth as it is in heaven” (Matthew 6:10). I, myself, teach how prayer is taking those things in heaven (like healing), grabbing ahold of them, and pulling them down here to earth. We are told that “you have not because you ask not” (James 4:2,3) and there are several scriptures that tell us whatever we desire when we ask for something in the name of Jesus we have what we ask for.

So is God a liar? Have you prayed with faith, expecting God to move in the miraculous, and seen it go the opposite way? Have you been walking along joyfully, hand-in-hand with God, and suddenly been confronted with an unexpected tragedy that sucks the life right out of you?

I have, unfortunately, many times. Allow me to share something with you from the book When Tragedy Strikes.

I don’t remember exactly what it was, but many years ago I was asking God to change or fix something in my life. He asked me which prayer I wanted answered. I wasn’t sure what He meant. He reminded me of my consistent prayer for Him to do whatever He needed to get me where He wanted me to be. He then let me know that whatever this was I was praying against was something He wanted to use to get me where He wanted me to be.

So at that point I needed to make a decision. Did I want God to answer this immediate prayer and take me out of my misery, or did I want Him to answer the other prayer by allowing the situation to do a work in my life—getting me to where He wanted me to be? As I said, I don’t remember what that situation was, but I do remember I took the “fix it” prayer off the table and stayed with my prayer of “do whatever You want to get me where You want me to be.”

Over the years I’ve been faced with that same decision over and over again…

What determines God’s goodness? Is He good because He answers my prayers the way I want Him to? Is that what makes a person good? Because they give us what we want to make us happy? Or are they good because they know how to make right decisions for everyone involved? Are they good because they are not willing to compromise in the moment, but hold fast because they see and know the greater good further down the road?

I find it very sad when people walk away from God because He didn’t give them the answer they wanted to a prayer. God is not a vending machine where we put in the prayer, push a button, and the solution we want drops out for us.

We have a two-year-old granddaughter. She is being taught to say please and is learning that just because she says “pleeeeease” doesn’t mean she automatically gets what she wants.

When you ask someone for something, they have a choice to say yes or no. When we ask God for something, He has the choice to say yes or no. Did I want Him to say yes and allow Becca to stay here on this earth? Of course I did, with every fiber of my being! As a matter of fact, I believed He was actually going to heal her heart, either through a miracle or through a heart transplant. As I stated earlier, I was totally blindsided when she died—even though she was very sick. Once again I was forced to face that bottom-line prayer I have prayed almost all my life, of giving God permission to do whatever He wanted to do to get me where He wanted me to be. And this time it cost me an extremely high price.

Do I believe God killed my daughter to use it in some way in my life? ABSOLUTELY NOT! Do I believe that God allowed the natural consequences of a fallen and sinful world to take effect, not stopping it, even though many people were praying for her healing? Yes, I do. Do I still give Him permission to do what He wants to do as God, instead of what I want Him to do, because He can see so much more than I can see? ABSOLUTELY!

I have chosen not to change my thoughts and beliefs on who God is just because I did not get a prayer answered the way I wanted Him to, no matter how painful it may be.

So what can we do when life throws us more than just a curve ball; one that hits us and knocks us down (and can even take us out of the game for a while)?

• Make the choice to forgive. It might be one person, or it could be a long list of people who had a part in the traumatic event. This can include yourself, God, and even someone you loved who caused your deep pain (such as someone who caused their own death, either on purpose or through negligence).
• Get past the paralyzing question of “Why?”
• Give yourself lots and lots of grace. And give that same grace to others in your family who are handling the tragedy (which includes grieving) differently than you.
• Connect with other people who have faced a similar situation who are walking in hope and light and life again. They need to be people who won’t try to push you out of your grief, but help you walk through it.

Unfortunately, this article does not have time to dig into the “how” to do these things. Plus, these are only four of several steps you can take to work your way out of the pit of darkness and back into the light of living again.

If you want to dig further into these things, or if you need someone to walk with you, offering the hope you are desperate for, you may want to consider purchasing the book When Tragedy Strikes. It was written after the death of our daughter, specifically for other grieving parents, but I am being told by more and more people how it has helped them in other places of tragedy and darkness as well.

Here is an example of what people are saying about it.

“Reading her book is like having a friend who has been there walk alongside you as you try to make sense out of tragedy.”

“This book has not only helped me in coming closer to God and trusting him more. It has helped restore my faith.”

“Her words inspire you to find your way out of the darkness; then know the hope and healing!”

“So much in these pages really spoke to my heart about my own pain…I believe it can and will help others get through that dark pain of the soul.”

“She gives hope for healing and methods to move further along in the healing process.”

When Tragedy Strikes will be released in stores July 5, 2016. But it can be preordered at almost any book retailer right now (such as Barnes & Noble, Amazon, Powell’s Books, etc). And if you preorder the paperback by July 4, 2016, I would love to say thank you by blessing you with 13 other books by 13 different authors for FREE! (These books have a value of over $120.) To find out about this special offer, or more about the book itself, just click here. And please use the social media share buttons provided to let others know about it this limited opportunity to get 14 books for the purchase of one book.

Some people accuse Christians of using God as a crutch. I tell people that isn’t true for me. I use God as my wheelchair! I don’t know how anyone gets through this life without depending on Him.

May God be your wheelchair, and may the seed of Hope be watered in your shattered heart, bringing life from the depths of darkness and death. After all, that is God’s specialty; bringing life from death!

 

Gems from the Crown is a weekly blog from Crown of Glory Ministries to strengthen and encourage believers in Christ in their walk with God, especially in the areas of vision, authority, and identity. If you would like to have Gems from the Crown delivered directly to you, please click here.

Have you ever felt like you have been swept away by a tsunami in your life? It seemed like everything was going fine, and out of nowhere, a huge tidal wave you couldn’t outrun took your legs out from under you, and life was out of control.

I have had the blessing of that happening several times over the last 35 years or so. No, it was not a blessing at the time; far from it. Each time one of those huge waves hit, it caused fear, panic, an overwhelming sense of uncontrollable chaos, and lots and lots of deep pain.

The first time I remember that kind of a wave hitting me I was 16 years old, and it tried to take me under when my parents divorced. Yes, I know that is fairly common, but not for me and my family. I spent many years growing up as a preacher’s kid. A few of those years, my dad even traveled as an evangelist for children, doing things like kids’ camps and VBS’s. I went with him as often as possible. I loved being the daughter of “Uncle Bob,” watching him use magic tricks as object lessons (way before it was the “norm” in children’s ministry and before that term even existed) and be a ventriloquist with his dummy, Timothy.

Next huge wave? Shortly after getting married, our three year old daughter was diagnosed (on my due date with our second child) with bone cancer in her left leg, rendering it useless. She had her left leg amputated (how do you explain that to a three year old?) and went through nine months of chemotherapy.

Over the next several years, there were many smaller waves, compounded on each other. Some were what I would call the normal ups and downs of having a family with five children. Unfortunately, some of the bigger ones were within the Body of Christ. They included finding myself caught in the middle of a nasty church split (like a deer in the headlights) and then a few years later, when I was not responding to the replacement pastor’s flattery, found myself being accused of trying to divide the church. Yes, ouch! Deep wounds; I think many of us have them from “the church.”

Another one of them was finding out that a long-term effect of one of the chemo drugs used for our daughter’s treatment caused heart damage, which had to be constantly monitored. Eventually, she had to be put on medication to counter the weakness. After getting married and becoming pregnant, she ended up in the hospital for a few months, with a 50/50 chance of surviving through the labor and delivery. (She lived, and gave birth to a beautiful little preemie girl who is now 13 years old.) Shortly after that though, she had to have open heart surgery to repair one of her valves.

During that time, because of bad judgment, one of our sons ended up in the county juvenile detention center. There was a trial, and our son had teachers and other adults (including the workers of the detention center) plead on his behalf. They all recommended for the judge to send him to a boys’ home and not be locked up, because it was so obvious that he was a good kid with a good family support system, who had made some very bad choices and needed help. But because there were some things that tied the judge’s hands, at age 15, he was incarcerated for two years in a juvenile corrections facility. (There is a lot more to this story, but you get the idea…)

Then there was the 18 months where our oldest daughter was in the hospital more than she was out. She had her second and third open heart surgeries during that time (one to put in a pump to run the right side of her heart, and the other to take it out when the driveline to the pump got sliced and the pump was shorting out, shocking her heart every time it did). She had a stroke (leaving her left arm fairly useless), Sudden Cardiac Death (from which the EMTs were able to start her heart again after about 15 minutes) and septicemia (blood poisoning with a 20% survival rate). She had a dozen ambulance rides and three emergency helicopter rides within that time period.

Then suddenly, her heart gave out for the last time, and she was gone. Just like that. I can’t even begin to tell you the darkness that came with watching our three sons carry their sister’s casket and burying our child. That just isn’t supposed to happen! It caused a horrible chain of events that I never even thought was possible, which I have since found out is actually fairly common when a child dies.

Okay, so by now are you asking, where is the place of rest in all of this????

It is in learning how to trust, and to surrender. I have found it is one thing to tell God you are giving Him your life, and another thing to actually do it.

Giving our lives to God does not mean our lives will become a bed of roses. Too many people use God like some magic genie who is supposed to grant us our wishes to not have anything bad ever happen to us in this fallen, sinful, crappy world. So when those big waves hit us, we blame Him as if He caused it, and then turn our backs on the only One who can give us true peace, comfort, and direction on how to get our footing again and not be overcome.

It is during these times that we find out if we have truly given our hearts and our lives completely to God, or if we have done it with conditions.

Over the years, each time the next tsunami hits, I have learned to run to Him harder and faster, and I hang on to Him with everything I have! And every single time He has been more than faithful to get me to the other side. And not in just a half-drowned wet mess, but in total amazement at how He has been at work in my life, using the storm to strengthen me and to deepen our relationship.

Plain and simple, I trust Him. I have learned to surrender to the process. Because of my allowing Him to do whatever He wants to do with my life, God has been able to not only sustain me, but bring me to a place of victory, each and every time.

Has it been easy? Of course not! And it doesn’t happen quickly, either. (Wouldn’t that be nice?) This trusting God thing is a life-long process.

But once we stop fighting, and choose to surrender and rest in the arms of our Daddy God, He can transform us through the painful trials into a beautiful and rare gem.

(Just a note: I have written about several of these life events in my book Triple Crown Transformation, which is available from our ministry or several book outlets. Click here if you would like to know more about this book.)

Gems from the Crown is a weekly blog from Crown of Glory Ministries to strengthen and encourage believers in Christ in their walk with God, especially in the areas of vision, authority, and identity. If you would like to have Gems from the Crown delivered directly to you, please click here.

Basically we all want a pain free life if we are honest. Why doesn’t that seem to be God’s way? Especially if He is such a “good” God?

I’ve been hanging out in Isaiah a lot lately. The passage in Isaiah 48:10, “I have purified you by giving you troubles,” is a loaded statement.

What? God gives us troubles?

Later in Is. 66:9 we read, “ ‘In the same way I will not cause pain without allowing something new to be born,’ says the Lord. ‘If I cause you the pain, I will not stop you from giving birth to your new nation.’ says your God.”

There are a couple of key parts to that verse.

1) Pain comes in birthing. (For sure!)

2) He will not stop us from giving birth. (That’s a huge relief, if you have ever been in   labor before!)

We often think life is supposed to be pain free if we are really walking with God, but clearly God doesn’t see it that way.

He always offers a plan in our pain. Not only that, He suffers with us in our pain.

And there’s more! He always offers to birth something that brings new life, if we don’t give up! Wow! That is amazing! Only God can bring life from death! And may I remind you, He has lots of experience and does it quite well!

God says He will not stop us from giving birth, but I wonder if we stop ourselves sometimes. We go out of our way to stop the pain, to stop whatever is happening from continuing, not realizing we are actually sabotaging ourselves by trying to stop a birthing process.

If we choose to see things our way, we risk the forward movement He has planned for us.

Is. 50:10-11 says, “Who among you fears the Lord and obeys His servant? That person may walk in the dark and have no light. Let him trust in the Lord and depend on his God. But instead, some of you want to light your own fires and make your own light. So, go, walk in the light of your fires, and trust your own light to guide you.”

Once we pray and put something in God’s hands, He is at work, whether we can see it or not. We can trust Him, and depend on Him. God has never lost a battle He has entered, and He isn’t going to start with your battle.

Remember, God created Satan and his minions. They were flicked out of heaven because of rebellion and pride. Good and evil is not an even match. Sometimes we forget that, because of the result of evil affecting our lives. We think God and Satan have the same amount of power, and it is a wrestling match to see who wins.

God ALWAYS triumphs! We just have to let Him use His own battle plan, and surrender to it, instead of making up our own (because it doesn’t make sense to us in our painful situation). Starting our own fires and trusting in our own light to guide us will really take us off course, and make things even worse in the long run.

Let me just say, if I could make sense of God and figure Him out, I would actually be really disappointed and lost, because then He wouldn’t be big enough to be God!

Have you EVER asked God to cleanse and purify you? (That question makes a couple of worship songs come to my mind immediately, that I know I have raised my hands to and sung from my heart as a prayer to Him.)

Then guess what? As Isaiah 66:9 says, He doesn’t allow the troubles we go through to be wasted in our lives. He uses them to purify our hearts. Fire is a purifier. He is actually answering your prayer of purifying you.

I talk about this in my book Triple Crown Transformation.

For all my adult life, I have told God to do whatever He wants to do to get me where He wants me to be. Many years ago, I was praying about a situation I wanted God to fix.

He asked me, “Which prayer do you want me to answer?” I had to ask Him what He meant.

He replied, “You have always told me to do whatever I wanted to do, to get you where I want you to be. I want to use your situation to answer this prayer. So, do you want me to answer the prayer you have been praying for years, or do you want me to answer the prayer to fix this situation?”

I surrendered, and told Him to do whatever He wanted to do, to get me where He wanted me to be.

Surrender to His process. Surrender to His plan to birth new life through you. Don’t stop your birthing process because of the pain. Don’t make your own fires to guide yourself.

Allow God to use the pain you are experiencing to purify you, and to birth something new in your life.

 

Gems from the Crown is a weekly blog from Crown of Glory Ministries to strengthen and encourage believers in Christ in their walk with God, especially in the areas of vision, authority, and identity. If you would like to have Gems from the Crown delivered directly to you, please click here.