The other night Dave and I went out to supper with a couple who recently lost their son from this earth. One of the questions she asked was, “Do you think our kids’ spirits can come back and visit us?”
She shared a situation where two of them had an impression in their spirits that he was there at a profound event at a certain place for a few seconds, very happy with what was happening. Plus, there was another time this mom sensed her son’s presence in a very real and almost tangible way.
These are not “flaky” people. They are very rooted and grounded in their relationship with the Lord, and spiritual leaders and pillars in the Body of Christ. They are sensitive to the voice and presence of the Holy Spirit.
It reminds me of an email I received recently:
I have a question; do you ever feel like your daughter’s spirit is around you? I always feel like she is around me. Sometimes I get confused, like I wonder did she ever cross over or does she just come back to visit? J.A.
It really is such a good question, and one that I find interesting to answer. Since it comes up so often, I finally decided to share my thoughts on this subject in a blog.
First, let me say that God makes it very clear we are NOT to go to mediums or try to call up the dead (Deuteronomy 18:9-11). That is dangerous and opens the door for the demonic realm to approach and deceive us, letting darkness have an influence in our lives disguised as light and hope. But that is not what I am talking about here.
I know strong Christians who are positive they occasionally feel the presence of the spirit of their loved one who died and no longer has a bodily form. These Christians have not sought after them as a spiritual being. They are not going to psychics or mediums to try and hear from their loved ones. But at some point, usually quite unexpectedly, they suddenly just “know” that their child or loved one is in the room with them, usually very close by.
When I started hearing these stories, I realized it was not my job to judge, but to be like Mary, and quietly ponder those things in my heart, taking them to God. And in doing this for several years now, I have only recently allowed myself to begin to explore outside of what I was taught, that when a person dies, they leave this earth and we are totally separated until we ourselves die. Period. That’s it. End of story.
I didn’t allow myself to even remotely consider anything else because I have been afraid of “being led astray” and seeing something because I want to see it, allowing myself to be deceived. But when I take anything I am questioning to God, I always ask Him to show me the truth, and not to allow me to be deceived. So, I have to believe that He will honor that, and the Holy Spirit will help me sort it out without going down the wrong path on the questions I put before Him, including this one.
So, let me take a deep breath and say that I have begun to believe that it is possible that our children’s spirits have opportunities to visit us, for the specific purpose of bringing comfort, peace, or whatever our need is for that moment. And there are places in the Bible that support this.
First, we know there are spiritual beings, angels and demons, all around us. We are surrounded by a spiritual realm that is even more real than the earthly realm we live in.
Remember when God opened Jacob’s eyes to see a ladder to heaven with angels ascending and descending (Genesis 28)? So, if our children are no longer contained by their bodies, isn’t it possible that God occasionally allows them to ascend and descend as spiritual beings also, if there is a purpose for it?
Then there is the time when Moses and Elijah came to earth to speak with Jesus before His death (Matthew 17).
And how about the “great cloud of witnesses” that Hebrews chapter twelve talks about, referring to the entire previous chapter of those who had died? Is it just those in Hebrews 11 who are in that group, or is it everyone who has died and now has full access to the Father as a spiritual being without bodily limitations?
We are three-part beings. We have a soul (our mind, will and emotions), we live in a body, but we are a spirit being. Jesus was very clear that He was leaving this earth so that the Holy Spirit could come (John 16:7). He lives inside us when we believe and receive by faith that Jesus died for our sins and was resurrected. We are the temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19), so our spirit is fully connected with the spiritual realm, whether we are aware of it or not.
In John chapter ten, Jesus says His sheep hear and know His voice and follow Him. As Christians, we are supposed to be sensitive to the Holy Spirit, growing in knowing His voice, so we can grow in our direct communion and fellowship with Him. It is a Spirit-to-spirit connection. So, if we are aware of God’s presence, is it that far off-base to occasionally be aware of the presence of our child’s spirit, who is connected to Him, Spirit-to-spirit as well?
Let me also say that I believe there are many times when God knows we need encouragement, so He will send us a sign that relates to our child, but it is not him or her. For example, let’s say a grieving parent is floundering hopelessly in the suffocating darkness of their grief. A cardinal comes and sits within 3 feet of them. Knowing their child loved and collected cardinals, some parents will think their child came to visit them as that cardinal. There is no scriptural ground that anyone’s spirit comes back in the form of an animal. However, I do believe that God, in His deep love and compassion, sent that cardinal to give peace and comfort, because of the special connection their child had with cardinals.
One thing that I become more aware of with each passing year, is how much I don’t understand about God. Even having the Bible to read and study, His vastness, His majesty, His glory, His love, is just beyond what I can comprehend or wrap my head around. Paul tells us in I Corinthians 13:12 that we see in part and we know in part. We cannot see the full picture, because what we see here on this earth is like looking through a dark glass.
Yes, I know we have the Word to teach and guide us, but there is not one single person here on earth who doesn’t have blind spots and wrong beliefs in some areas. Not a single one of us knows all truth. But we are constantly being taught by the Holy Spirit, who lives inside us, having our eyes opened to more light and more truth, which continues to set us free from false beliefs.
Have I had a sense that Becca’s spirit is around at some point? No, but I have had twice when I fully believe I was in heaven with her. God gave me a vision, allowing my spirit to join her before His throne and in the heavenly city.
So, in answer to the question, “Can the spirits of our children come to us?” I will say that I have started to believe it is possible that our children’s spirit can come and be with us at times on assignment for a specific purpose.
I would love to hear from you on this subject. If you do not agree, please share in a loving and respectful way. Anything harsh and judgmental will not be approved to be posted.
One of the sessions of the GPS Hope on-line summit was “What About Psychics and Signs?” where Dave and I discuss the topic. The entire Virtual Summit is on sale in our store, but if you would like this session for free, we would be happy to send a link for you to access it. Just fill in the information below. (It will also add you to our Weekly Word of Hope emails, which you can unsubscribe from at any time.)
Expressions of Hope is written by author, speaker and singer Laura Diehl. She and her husband, Dave, are the founders of Grieving Parents Sharing Hope (GPS Hope). Dave and Laura travel full time in their Hope Mobile (a 38-foot motor home) to be more easily available for speaking and ministry requests, including being invited to hold one-day GPS Hope & Healing conferences.
Laura is a national keynote speaker and has also been a workshop speaker for events such as The Compassionate Friends and Bereaved Parents USA national conferences, along with being a guest on radio shows, podcasts and other media channels such as webinars with Open to Hope.
If you would like more information about Laura as a speaker for your next event or want more information on hosting a GPS Hope & Healing conference, click here.
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Donna says
Pondered & rejected and then landed on I just don’t know a definitive answer to this question. My husband and I both had odd dreams, not the dreams you’d expect missing a child. His was our son excitedly telling him he was learning so much. Mine was a solemn son almost chastising me lovingly for sinking so much into grief when I knew better, imparting a presence of wisdom. One time experiences for both of us, different but based in truth of what we know to be true. Since that time my husband too has passed, but I remember a strong sensation as I was sobbing & tossing out some personal items of his, it was an impression of joy that these earthly things I was sobbing over meant nothing to him anymore, and what he had was so much better. These thoughts were not my thoughts, so I know they came from elsewhere – wether spirit holy or spirit passed on I just don’t know
Laura Diehl says
Donna, I am so sorry about the earthly loss of your son, and then your husband. It can all be confusing, can’t it, especially in a place of grief. I am in the process of reading the book “Imagine Heaven” by John Burke. It was given to me by another bereaved parent. It is about people who have been to heaven, what they saw and experienced, from around the world. Sure makes heaven and where we are going so much more real. I highly recommend it.
Heidi Griffiths says
I’m glad to have found you Laura and these posts! I had an out of the ordinary visitation on May 21 st when my Soul was severely distraught over the death of my daughter and subsequently the passing of her dog we took into the family soon after and then another family passing on my husbands side…I was staying behind exhausted from traveling to the East Coast for her Celebration of Life and the events that led up to this visitation from a hummingbird…landing on n my knee then spending another 20 minutes on the arm rest beside me, allowing me to touch and rub his belly…he was not your typical Rufous Hummingbird as they are one of the nastiest and aggressive of all of these beautiful creatures…I looked into this as to if any of this could be a visitation from Gods messenger of my daughters spirit …the video I have clearly shows this bird was very special and had to be have sent from Heaven above as my question of her truly being with Jesus needing to be confirmed…when I googled my daughter quirky it always led me to the mediums and psychics which I know to not be of God…not knowing what to do with this information as I also found poems she had written that explain what happened to her all to very fine details!! Written in 2007…so many questions I hope to understand one day….
Laura Diehl says
Wow Heidi, that is really something! Very special, and sure sounds like God was sending you something reassuring that would give you peace and comfort!
Peyton Tunstall says
Heidi, same thing with me but was a Cardinal. As i was about to enter my daughters room for the first time after her death my parents saw a cardinal on my truck attempting to get inside of it by pecking up and down the door seal. I turned and watched in utter amazement. It continued until there could be no doubt. It clearly was God doing what he does best, loving us.
Laura Diehl says
Wow! How precious! Even in the midst of our deep pain, God is so good to send His love and assurance in ways we can receive!
Vickie says
So I’m sitting at work tonight with nothing to do and I’m bored out of my mind! So I decided to read some of your blogs. While I was reading this one I remembered something that happened probably back in April or May. Me and Shanna had went to Subway for lunch. We were sitting outside at a table and the young lady that worked there was sitting outside with us. There were birds hopping around looking for food on the ground. I’m not sure what but something caught my attention and I looked down at my left arm and sitting right next to my left arm was a little bird. I believe he was a sparrow but I’m not positive. I was surprised because I have never seen a wild bird get that close to someone. I’ve seen them hop around on the ground near people but even then they don’t get too close. He was just sitting there looking at me and I looked down at him and said, “Hey little guy!” He stayed there maybe a couple of minutes and then hopped down. The young lady that worked at Subway said that she had never seen one get that close to someone. So could it have been God sending me a sign? Maybe it was and I just didn’t know it at the time. There was another time I had just returned home from work. I took my dog outside and when I started walking back to my apartment I saw a rabbit on the grass in front of my apartment. Right before I saw the rabbit I had been talking out loud to Dominic even though I know he couldn’t hear me. When I saw the rabbit I stopped and watched him and as I was watching him he began hopping towards me. Almost as if he knew me. Like someone’s pet would do when they see their owner. I have lived at this apartment complex for four years and have never seen a rabbit on the grounds. He got within a couple of feet or less of me but Bella (my dog) started whining and she did it scared him off and he turned around and hopped back towards my apartment. He hung around on the grass and in front of my apartment for a few minutes and then left. Another time was with a butterfly. I was out on a boat with a friend. We were on the ocean a good distance from shore when I saw a butterfly. He flew down onto the boat right next to me and sat there for a few minutes and then flew off. Were these signs from God? At the time I didn’t think so and I’m still not sure if they were signs or if I’m just imagining it because I would love for it to be but I am beginning to think maybe they were and I just didn’t realize it at the time. I have had people tell me they have felt my son’s presence with them. His dad has told me there has been several times he felt Dominic’s presence, my mom has dreamed about him and she told me just recently that she had a day when she felt Dominic’s presence with her and another family member on his stepmom’s side said that Dominic came to her in a dream. I have not been that lucky. I guess I’m just chopped liver. lol
Laura Diehl says
Vickie, sometimes we don’t realize something until we look back. I think it could have been those creatures being drawn to you by their creator. I know how frustrated so many parents get when others have dreams or see or feel something but they themselves don’t. I have no answers for that…