Season Topic: The Many Facets of  Forgiveness

I think we will all agree that there is no wrong way to grieve, especially when grieving the death of your child, until it comes to our spouse (or someone close to us) and then they are doing it wrong if they aren’t doing it like we are!

Laura’s husband, Dave, joins her on this podcast for a candid discussion on how they grieved Becca’s death differently, and some of the reasons.

Some practical suggestions

Laura and Dave go into depth on these three suggestions

• Plug into a local support group
• Drop unrealistic expectations
• Start a thankfulness journal

Sibling grief

Sibling grief will be its own series at some point, but Laura and Dave share briefly on why your other children may be doing things like pulling away from you.

Here at GPS Hope…

We encourage you to be determined that your child’s death is not what will be the death of your marriage or other important relationships. At least not on your end. The way to do that is to accept and respect the needs of that other person in how they are grieving and take care of your own needs.

Forgiveness

Each week Laura has been sharing a different prayer with you to say out loud based on the topic and this week isn’t any different. This week’s prayer can be for anyone close to you who is not grieving the same way you are, including your other children, a parent, close friend, and of course your spouse.

If you would like a PDF of these prayers, just submit the information below.

Birthdays

Isaiah Santell was born on May 22 and is forever 16.

I would love to announce your child’s birthday. Click here to fill out the short form with the needed information. And be sure to let other bereaved parents know that their child can be celebrated with our listeners!

The full song I Remember Well (which is the background song during the birthday segment) can be heard here.

Links referred to in this episode

GPS Hope Share & Care Groups – find out how easy it is to facilitate your own group

GPS Hope library (to download the free eBook From Ring Bearer to Pall Bearer)

To find out more about Laura’s award winning book When Tragedy Strikes, click here.

 

Give Hope to Others: If GPS Hope has brought you hope and light in your grief journey, please consider helping us reach more grieving parents who find themselves hurled onto this same unwanted path. Click here to support GPS Hope monthly or to give a special gift.

And please remember to Hold On Pain Eases; there is HOPE!

www.gpshope.org 

You are safe here. No masks needed…

Grieving Parents Sharing Hope (GPS Hope) is here to walk with parents through the darkness of child-loss, guiding them to a place of hope, light and purpose. This is a safe place for anyone who has lost a child from this earth. There is no shame or judgement in where you are in this journey, including if you are struggling in your relationship with God or your faith has been completely shattered.

To have Laura come and speak or sing at your event, contact us at office@gpshope.org.

Season Topic: The Many Facets of Forgiveness

 

This week, we discuss forgiving the guilty; those who had a hand in our child’s death, whether it was directly or indirectly.

Your two choices

• You can keep dwelling on it, rehearsing all the reasons why you should remain bitter and why that person does not deserve to be forgiven.
• You can choose to release that person in your thoughts and forgive them (which does not mean you are okay with what they did and there is no need for justice, especially if it is an issue where the law is involved).

Forgiveness is for YOU

We might say or think, “I can’t forgive.” The truth is, we won’t forgive because we feel justified in blaming and making someone pay for what they did. Refusing to forgive is not hurting them; it is hurting you like a cancer eating you up and killing your soul. It is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. As long as you hold onto unforgiveness, you are chained to that person, being dragged around with your anger and bitterness.

Forgiveness does not depend on whether or not a person deserves that forgiveness. It isn’t even based on if they are sorry for what they have done. Forgiving that person is not offering them a way out; you are giving yourself a gift. A gift you deserve to have and unwrap!

Becca’s doctor

Hear about the person Laura finds herself needing to forgive multiple times, that probably caused Becca’s death and what he did.

How do I forgive them?

It is so very worth fighting through to be set free in this area, so we spend a bit of time on this question. First, we need to realize and accept that it is a conscious decision we make that goes beyond our feelings, and that it won’t be a one-time thing, but a process. We discuss how Jesus was able to forgive, and a specific insight is shared that can help us follow His example.

It helps to do an action

Quite often we need to do something tangible or take an action to put us on the needed path to forgive the person who caused our child’s departure from this earth. In this podcast, several suggestions on what to do are made, including speaking your forgiveness out loud. To have all of the prayers talked about in this series on forgiveness, submit your name and email address below.

As you determine in your heart to take these steps, God will be faithful to meet you. You will find yourself having to forgive this person less often, until one day you suddenly realize you truly have forgiven them and are free of the painful grip they once had on you.

Birthdays:

Kyle Terry was born on 5/24/90 and is forever 28.

Each week I will announce the birthdays coming up of our children who are no longer here, so that our listeners can remember them with you. If you would like your child added to the list click here to fill out the needed information.

The full song I Remember Well (which is the background song during the birthday segment) can be heard here.

Links referred to in this episode

GPS Hope & Healing Retreat: To find out about the retreat in Iowa (or any other upcoming GPS Hope & Healing retreats) where you can be ministered to body, soul and spirit, click here.

Pay it Forward: If GPS Hope has brought you hope and light in your grief journey, please consider helping us reach more grieving parents who find themselves hurled onto this same unwanted path. Click here to support GPS Hope monthly or to give a special gift.

And please remember to Hold On Pain Eases; there is HOPE!

www.gpshope.org

 

You are safe here. No masks needed…

Grieving Parents Sharing Hope (GPS Hope) is here to walk with parents through the darkness of child-loss, guiding them to a place of hope, light and purpose. This is a safe place for anyone who has lost a child from this earth. There is no shame or judgement in where you are in this journey, including if you are struggling in your relationship with God or your faith has been completely shattered.

To have Laura come and speak or sing at your event, contact us at office@gpshope.org.

Season Topic: The Many Facets of Forgiveness

 

Welcome to episode #4

Are you struggling with forgiveness after the death of your child? Well that’s exactly what we are discussing in this first series of our podcast, and this week we specifically address forgiving our child for leaving us.

A loaded and difficult topic

Some parents know they are struggling with it, but there are those who don’t realize they are until the possibility is brought to their attention. Maybe you have had this anger inside of you and didn’t know where it was coming from. Not everyone has unforgiveness against their child, but it is worth considering, especially if it is a new thought for you.

It can be a very hard thing to admit, because it sounds so awful and horrifying, but now you can be relieved to know you are not the only one who has felt this way and struggled with being angry at your child for dying and leaving you behind.

In this episode

• We discuss some of the reasons we might be angry at our child
• We touch specifically on death by suicide and overdose.
• I share about a time our daughter Becca took a bunch of pills.
• Doug and BJ Jensen are introduced, whose son died by suicide. They are a precious couple who now have an international ministry, Love in Motion, that uses sign language to bring healing to others.
• Listeners are given ideas on how to honor their child as a wonderful tribute to your son or daughter, learning that doing something good like this will help you to forgive them as you reach out to help others.

Staying angry at your child will keep you from being able to fully love them and get to a place of having warm memories of their life, instead of stuck in the pain and darkness of their death. My prayer is that by the end of our discussion, you will be walking in a new level of peace in this specific area.

Speaking adds power to our thoughts

To receive a copy of the forgiveness prayers used in this series, just submit your name and email address below and we will send the right to you.

Birthdays:

This week we celebrate

Jordan Slusher, birthday 5/17/91 and is forever 21

Chris Rueben, birthday 5/19/85 and is forever 16

Don’t miss out on the chance to have your son or daughter’s birthday announced on the podcast. Click here to give us your child’s name and birthday.

The special song I wrote for our children’s birthdays I Remember Well can be heard here. (It is the song that plays in the background of the birthday segment.)

Links referred to in this episode:

Doug and BJ Jensen’s signing song A Healing Hallelujah

To post a picture of your child’s memorial garden on the GPS Hope Facebook page, find the thread (using the search bar on the side if needed and type in “memorial garden”.)

Please remember to rate and review this podcast. The more there are, the higher it ranks in the search engines, helping more grieving parents find it!

Next week…

We will be talking about forgiving anyone who caused the death of your child, whether directly or indirectly. I will be sharing who the person is I had to forgive, so I hope you can listen in and if you know someone who might be interested in this topic, give them a heads up and let them know about it.

And please remember to Hold On Pain Eases; there is HOPE.

 

You are safe here. No masks needed…

Grieving Parents Sharing Hope (GPS Hope) is here to walk with parents through the darkness of child-loss, guiding them to a place of hope, light and purpose.

It is a safe place for anyone who has lost a child from this earth. There is no shame or judgement in where you are in this journey, including if you are struggling in your relationship with God or your faith has been completely shattered.

 

Season Topic: The Many Facets of Forgiveness

 

Welcome to episode #3

Are you struggling with forgiveness after the death of your child?  That is the first topic series we are tackling on this podcast, and this week we are going to specifically address forgiving those who have hurt us in the grieving process.

 Mother’s Day

Before digging in to the topic though, we discuss the fact that this week is Mother’s Day, and I also share a word of caution based on something that happened between my living daughter and me.

How Could They Treat Me This Way?

I have heard from so many of you at how shocked and hurt you have been at some of the responses from people around you about your grief. Close friends, co-workers, other family members, even pastors and clergy, and casual acquaintances say and do things that can cause us to isolate ourselves even more than we do already.

Some of the reasons we are given for this are discussed, and why it doesn’t really matter. What is important is learning how to release ourselves from allowing it to keep us trapped in anger, draining us of precious energy we already have too little of.

Personal “Domino Effects”

We are all very fragile and vulnerable after the death of our child. This is when we need others to walk with us, giving us grace in the suffocating darkness of our grief. Unfortunately, that is often when we get slammed with the opposite response.

In this episode, I share a couple of painful and shocking things that happened to me as a result of grieving Becca’s death in a way that is considered normal for the death of a child, but others did not see it that way.

Hurtful Words and How We Want to Respond

Let’s just say it like it is. Some people say really stupid and hurtful things out of their ignorance and wanting to make us feel better, such as

• At least she is in a better place now
• I know how you feel. I lost my….
• At least you still have your other children
• You need to just move on and quit living in the past

And then there is the whole religious issue that God is punishing us for messing up, or that our child died because we didn’t have enough faith for their healing or didn’t pray enough or claim the right scriptures for their protection.

All of these are completely absurd, and you will hear my response to all of the above. (Some responses were actually given directly to those who said these things to me, and some I wisely kept in my head).

I believe in speaking things out….

If you would like the prayers/words of forgiveness to be spoken out loud that will be talked about in this podcast season, just let us know below where to send them.

 

 

Links referred to in this podcast episode

Birthdays: If you would like your child mentioned on the podcast the week of his or her birthday, click here to fill out the short form with the needed information.

This week we celebrate:

Patrick Keck… birthday May 7, 1990… forever 23

Sarah Wilber… May 10, 1984…  forever 34 (this is the first year for her family to be without her, so a special hug from all of us)

 

The special song I wrote for our children’s birthdays I Remember Well can be heard here. (It is the song that plays in the background of the birthday segment.)

 

Event page (where Laura is speaking)

Events can be found on the GPS Hope Facebook page (be sure to like/follow the page while you are there)

OR under the “resources” tab at www.gpshope.org.

 

And please remember to Hold On Pain Eases; there is HOPE.

 

You are safe here. No masks needed…

Grieving Parents Sharing Hope (GPS Hope) is here to walk with parents through the darkness of child-loss, guiding them to a place of hope, light and purpose.

It is a safe place for anyone who has lost a child from this earth. There is no shame or judgement in where you are in this journey, including if you are struggling in your relationship with God or your faith has been completely shattered.

www.gpshope.org

 

To have Laura come and speak or sing at your event, contact us at office@gpshope.org.