Season Topic: The Many Facets of Forgiveness
This week, we discuss forgiving the guilty; those who had a hand in our child’s death, whether it was directly or indirectly.
Your two choices
- You can keep dwelling on it, rehearsing all the reasons why you should remain bitter and why that person does not deserve to be forgiven.
- You can choose to release that person in your thoughts and forgive them (which does not mean you are okay with what they did and there is no need for justice, especially if it is an issue where the law is involved).
Forgiveness is for YOU
We might say or think, “I can’t forgive.” The truth is, we won’t forgive because we feel justified in blaming and making someone pay for what they did. Refusing to forgive is not hurting them; it is hurting you like a cancer eating you up and killing your soul. It is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. As long as you hold onto unforgiveness, you are chained to that person, being dragged around with your anger and bitterness.
Forgiveness does not depend on whether or not a person deserves that forgiveness. It isn’t even based on if they are sorry for what they have done. Forgiving that person is not offering them a way out; you are giving yourself a gift. A gift you deserve to have and unwrap!
Becca’s doctor
Hear about the person Laura finds herself needing to forgive multiple times, that probably caused Becca’s death and what he did.
How do I forgive them?
It is so very worth fighting through to be set free in this area, so we spend a bit of time on this question. First, we need to realize and accept that it is a conscious decision we make that goes beyond our feelings, and that it won’t be a one-time thing, but a process. We discuss how Jesus was able to forgive, and a specific insight is shared that can help us follow His example.
It helps to do an action
Quite often we need to do something tangible or take an action to put us on the needed path to forgive the person who caused our child’s departure from this earth. In this podcast, several suggestions on what to do are made, including speaking your forgiveness out loud. To have all of the prayers talked about in this series on forgiveness, submit your name and email address below.
As you determine in your heart to take these steps, God will be faithful to meet you. You will find yourself having to forgive this person less often, until one day you suddenly realize you truly have forgiven them and are free of the painful grip they once had on you.
Birthdays:
Kyle Terry was born on 5/24/90 and is forever 28.
Each week I will announce the birthdays coming up of our children who are no longer here, so that our listeners can remember them with you. If you would like your child added to the list click here to fill out the needed information.
The full song I Remember Well (which is the background song during the birthday segment) can be heard here.
Links referred to in this episode
GPS Hope & Healing Retreat: To find out about the retreat in Iowa (or any other upcoming GPS Hope & Healing retreats) where you can be ministered to body, soul and spirit, click here.
Pay it Forward: If GPS Hope has brought you hope and light in your grief journey, please consider helping us reach more grieving parents who find themselves hurled onto this same unwanted path. Click here to support GPS Hope monthly or to give a special gift.
And please remember to Hold On Pain Eases; there is HOPE!
You are safe here. No masks needed…
Grieving Parents Sharing Hope (GPS Hope) is here to walk with parents through the darkness of child-loss, guiding them to a place of hope, light and purpose. This is a safe place for anyone who has lost a child from this earth. There is no shame or judgement in where you are in this journey, including if you are struggling in your relationship with God or your faith has been completely shattered.
To have Laura come and speak or sing at your event, contact us at office@gpshope.org.
“type A” personality of barking out orders and expecting everybody else to follow them? For many years I struggled because I bought in to that view of the husband being “the priest of the home” (which you will not find in scripture, by the way). There were many times I dishonored my husband because he wasn’t out there in front of us forcing our family into some Christian mold.
Doesn’t that sound crazy? But that is exactly what many of us wives have been told the Bible says our husbands should do. Wow! Is anyone else seeing something not quite right with this picture?
caused by my misunderstanding of expecting my husband to get in front and drag me and my family where we should be, instead of allowing Dave to be who God created him to be within our marriage, as a laid-back, calm, supportive-from-behind person. Even so, I still knew better than to be rebellious and go against what he would want me to do or not do. Were there times I got in the flesh and tried to manipulate my way into what I wanted? Definitely. But that was my own battle with my own flesh, not what has been mislabeled as a Jezebel spirit. (If you want to see what Jesus himself says is a Jezebel spirit, you can read it for yourself in Revelation 2:20. It has nothing to do with a woman controlling, manipulating and usurping the authority of a man in the way it is used and abused in the church today.)
If you find yourself in the situation I was for many years, take it to God and allow him to show you truth. Open the word to Ephesians chapter 5, realizing that all the numbers for chapters and verses was put in there by man as a point of reference. God did not put in those separations. So instead of reading it based on the heading someone decided to put above a section, or reading it by separating each verse by the numbers in front of it, read through the entire chapter five so that you can read it in context and just flow right in to chapter 6. (Or read the entire letter written to the Ephesians since it really isn’t that long.) Read it like it was written with the flow of the Holy Spirit through the whole thing, not chopped up by chapters, verses and headings.
national speaker and singer. She and her husband, Dave, are the founders of Grieving Parents Sharing Hope (GPS Hope). 
needs lots of grace. And the best place to safely share and vent your raw and real emotions is to those who have experienced the same blackness, confusion and turmoil. There is no shame, and no judgment on your thoughts or feelings when it comes to other parents who have been right where you are.
has a totally different meaning to it now, and we understand why you don’t want to have a family picture taken or go to a family reunion.
group of people who were a mess like me, for all the reasons listed above and more. They “got it!” I didn’t have to exhaust myself by wearing a mask making them think I was okay, or feel the need to apologize for laughing or crying at any given moment for no apparent reason. It was so very refreshing and healing.
and a new one is released each Tuesday. The Grieving Parents Sharing Hope podcast is for those who are looking for light in their darkness, and for hope that your life can still have meaning and purpose as you learn to live in a way that honors the life of your child instead of being stuck in the deep grief of his or her death. You can find it several places where podcasts are found. (We hit a snag with iTunes and are hoping it will be there soon, as well.) It is also on our website, along with the show notes. Just go to 
Whether you connect with us here at GPS Hope in some way, or you connect with other groups, the bottom line message is that you are not alone, and there are those of us out here who want to walk with you until you can share that same message of hope with someone else coming along behind you.
