After our child dies, we don’t care about anything. We don’t want to be here anymore and just want to go be with our child. Even if our head knows we have reasons to remain here, it does not outweigh the pain in our heart to want to go be with the one who is missing.
Our health suffers dramatically. Our bodies either don’t cooperate (can’t sleep, can’t eat) or we just don’t care (sleep all the time and eat lots of comfort foods).
We all know what we should be doing:
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Eat healthy
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Drink enough water
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Exercise
We just don’t do it.
After several years of abuse, our bodies begin to turn on us, right about the time we start to pull out of the painful darkness and start to care, believing that maybe there are reasons to live with meaning and purpose, not in spite of our child’s death, but because of his or her life.
Our physical health affects our mental, emotional, and spiritual state. I fought this battle for over ten years, and do not want you to wait as long as I did.
I was able to lose over 40 pounds, safely and effectively, in only four months and have kept it off – NOT by some special diet, but by changing bad health habits into good healthy ones, while also changing my mindset on seeing food as fuel instead of a way to procrastinate something I should be doing, bringing comfort, or eating out of boredom.
It involves the following scientifically proven and doctor recommended healthy habits:
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Eating small healthy 100 calorie fueling snacks every 2-3 hours and one healthy meal each day
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Drinking at least 64 ounces of water each day
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Getting a good night’s sleep and ways to do that
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Learning how to lower the internal stress level when life feels out of control
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Daily healthy movement that works for each individual (not “working out”)
There are also four “pillars” I have learned to stand on in this process.
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Be part of a community that is on the same journey. Just like we need each other as pareavors, we need each other specifically in the area of health; to walk with those who understand how it affects us from a place of deep grief.
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Become educated. I thought I knew a lot about health but discovered there was so much I did not know (that goes well beyond what we eat) and have learned how I was sabotaging myself.
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Food really should be fuel! I was a sugar & carb addict and did not realize how much that affected my feeling sluggish and foggy, plus giving me an afternoon slump. It was tied to some digestion issues, bad sleep, and a stuffed-up head! Wow! I can’t believe how much better I feel now and how much more consistent energy I have. (I thought much of that was grief related but it turns out I was continuing the effects of grief in my body by what I was putting into it.)
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Have a coach. This is not someone who puts pressure on me to be perfect, but walks the journey with me, encouraging me to move toward making progress in my health journey.
